Disclaimer: this post is not happy and is about a current medical situation I’m dealing with.
So about a month and a half ago I went to my doctor for my yearly physical and all that jazz. A couple weeks after my appointment the nurse calls and says “your test results were very abnormal and we want you to see a specialist and by the way we already scheduled you an appointment with him”. So I look up the specialist on google when I get back to the office and the only word I see is ONCOLOGIST. I freaked out. I have to see an oncologist and the appointment isn’t for almost two weeks??!?!?!!
Well the day comes and I go see this doctor. He talks to me, he does a small biopsy in the office. Call back in a week and check the results but it may be nothing.
A week goes by and I call for the results. Nurse calls me back to tell me yes my results are in but he wants me to come into the office to discuss them.
Now at this point I’m, in my head, I’m on radiation or chemotherapy losing my hair and dying. Have I ever mentioned that I sometimes overreact to things? Yah I do.
Well I go in to discuss my results last week and he basically says the test contradict one another and he wants to do another biopsy but this one is surgical and will require light anesthesia. Then he should be able to say if it is cancerous or just some abnormal cell growth.
That brings up to today and me not being able to sleep because Thursday morning at 7 am I’m going to be at the hospital for surgery. It is outpatient and I should be home the same day and back to normal activity in a couple of days. However we should revisit the fact that I overreact sometimes. I’m freaking out over the possibility of complications and what if something goes wrong.
I’m trying very hard to be positive. I’m trying very hard to not let the stress make me eat. I’m trying very hard to just go on like everything is normal but I really want to curl up in a ball and hide.
I am however doing pretty well with the not eating my stress. I’m also amused that one of the things I’m worried about is how this will interrupt my exercise routine.
No matter what the results I can deal with them. I can also be proud of myself for making positive changes, me worried about exercise, why yes I am!
